Lest you ever get the idea that pathetic shouldn't apply here, note the following incident.
Upon taking my daughter to the park, I was promptly summoned to push her and two little friends on the tire swing. I must add here that my prowess in providing a wild & crazy tire-swing ride for the playground imps is, well, legendary. I got them spinning around in a rather nauseating manner, then went to change directions so my car would not be covered with regurgitation on the way home. When I grabbed the metal chain, it turned the tables on me and got caught on my wedding ring, dragged me to the ground, and nearly took my finger off. I had to get back up to separate said ring from the swing's chain. My ring now looks like a smushed lemon instead of a circle. I also should have removed my ring then because now my finger is so swollen, my ring won't come off.
However, I do know a little trick to getting the ring off. Windex. Yep. It makes it extremely slippery and off will come any ring. I should tell you how I know this even though it will make the Pathetic family look even more pathetic. A few years back, son#3 somehow managed to put his finger through a hole in his skateboard helmet....which is all well and good if you can get the finger out again. He couldn't. We ended up in the ER when soap, butter, etc. didn't work. Should people like us be allowed to reproduce? Sometimes I wonder.